To Feel Alive
by LeighthalZombie
Summary: To her, Gaara is her best friend. To him, it's not anything of the sort. What happens when a girl with not much of a personality goes through a life changing experience? Well, she gets a personality, that's for sure. -gaaraxoc, kankuxoc
1. pre Gentle

**pre. Gentle.**

Red was Akashi's favorite color.

She never wore it, barely saw it much- but the shade of color that so closely resembled blood was stained into her mind forever, ever since the first time she saw it- on _him._

_He_ was her best friend- though his heart was full of hatred and he rarely even bothered to acknowledge her existence, _he_ was all she needed. Knowing he was still alive, still the same, still learning; made her happy. _He_ was _Gaara_- Gaara of the Desert. The same Gaara that held within him the demon Shukaku; yes, _he_ was her world. That violent color of his hair became her favorite color the second she saw him.

Some people would say this girl must have a 'spiritual connection with his soul' in order to even _tolerate_ his existence, but Akashi would shrug such comments off. Unlike everyone else, she didn't find her situation unnatural or nonmsensical- in fact, she didn't think of it much at all. She though of him, though. Perhaps too much.

One fine, bright day, just before the chuunin exams were to restart and the survivors of the preliminaries were to compete, Kinosa Akashi of Konoha sat by the river with her eyes in the clouds. Around her, villagers laughed and spoke, children played, but all she heard was the soft flow of the rushing water. A smile tried to tug at her lips, but it soon gave up- such a task was impossible, it seemed. Akashi's expression scarcely changed from 'blank.'

Today, however, the slightest emotion would shine through- Much later, though; first allow the start of her day to be shown.

Nara Shikamaru, Akashi's teammate, edged his way over to the daydreaming girl and sat beside her. She barely noticed him until he cleared his throat and half-silently tested his voice, at which point, Akashi broke away from her imagination.

"Why are you sitting here all by yourself?" he questioned, little enthusiasm in his words.

"I've nothing else to do," she admitted. "And today is not a day to train."

Shikamaru held out a slightly callused hand as he stood, offering her assistance in getting up. She took it respectfully. "Want to play a game, then?"

Akashi shook her head. "I'm going to find Gaara."

The name of the threatening sand-shinobi alone sent shivers down his back. Though he'd not seen much of him and his abilities, Gaara gave off a frightening air and Shikamaru didn't dare go near him. His disapproval of his teammate's supposed 'friendship' with the freak was known to her, but -as usual- she brushed it off.

Shikamaru waved to Akashi and walked off, leaving her to look around for a sign of where her friend might be all by herself. Unsure but still determined, she wandered off towards the west side of Konoha.

"Akashi!" She spun around, catching the eye of another genin, Uzumaki Naruto. He grinned at her and ran to her side. "Hey, have yo seen Sakura anywhere? It's her turn to help out at Ichiraku Ramen."

Akashi shook her head. "No. Do you know where Gaara is?"

Naruto reeled back in both surprise and disgust. "That freak? I don't know but if I find him it'll be one hellofa fight! Believe it." He frowned for a moment. "That jerk Sasuke mentioned something about a special guard around the Inn on this side of town, though. Maybe he's got something to do with that." She said her 'thank-you's and 'goodbye's, then ran off toward the Inn.

Gaara, sure enough, was on the third level, standing out on the ledge. He didn't seem to see her, and she didn't mind- it was rare for him to ever really acknowledge her, but being ignored was something she was quite accustomed to. So quiet a girl she was, wrapped up in her imagination and dreams throughout the days of her life...

Her teammates and friends took pity upon her.

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Thank you for reading! next few parts up soon.


	2. Curious

**one.** **Curious.**

Gaara's eyes stared with no emotion out into the trees. Behind them ran thoughts, vivid images of his past and present. His heart ached from the confusion and pain that had been thrust into it mercilessly. It begged to relax. But mostly it begged to love.

Gaara constantly pondered the meaning of love- and overall, its very existence. Did this invisible, untouchable emotion really have the power to heal any wound? If only he could find it; he could be invincible. Immortal. But most importantly, content. He would finally understand all he needed to, and while he lived out the rest of his eternal life, perhaps he could even smile.

Shukaku laughed from deep within him, shaking the dreams of peace from Gaara's head. Be honest to yourself, it demanded. Gaara's silence persisted.

The figure of a girl worked its way up onto the ledge where Gaara stood, and if he had cared enough to spare even a glance, he would have instantly recognized the figure as 'that Kinosa girl," the girl that simply refused to let him be, on sunny days and rainy days alike. He had first met her on a foggy hour of full-moon, when, in the early morning, the beautiful sphere bearing the color of soft creme was so close it seemed to be nudging the entire village with its calming edges. He sat alone at first, buried beneath the tempting sky, until she came and sat with him. Her presence was light but definite, and and he almost immediately grabbed her wrist with a twisting cylinder of sand. "Who are you?" he had demanded to know, and soon he was listening to her short responses to every and any question he asked of her.

He's never been so amused, or even fascinated with another human that he questioned himself on the honest nessecity to kill another living being.

Then she'd leave, and Shukaku would would pull him out of her wild, sweet imagination.

Sometimes Gaara really hated Shukaku. As a sand spirit forced inside Gaara's body, Shukaku felt he had the right to control everything they did, and even thought. He had no way of fighting against it either- being human, he felt inferior.

Shukaku liked to toy with Akashi. Gaara himself didn't care much either way; she was a foolish, lonely girl his age and if anything, she deserved the mixed signals Shukaku so enjoyed sending her. Occasionally, something just a little over-the-top would come out of his mouth or occur based upon his own body's movement, and Gaara would feel a quick, sharp, shooting pain from his heart to his throat, but other than that, he was emotionless.

Kinosa Akashi. Such a silly girl, but even as silly as she was she's never upset either of them to the point that one of the spirits fully took over the body that housed them, releasing their anger completely.

Not yet, anyway. _And hopefully it never would._

Gaara didn't know why such a thought crossed his mind, but he soon forgot it as he turned towards the incoming Akashi.

"Gaara," her gentle voice murmered, nearly out of breath. "I've brought you something."

She didn't waste time as she slipped something out of her pocket. Gaara's eye caught it without a thought to back it up, and he turned towards her, staring down at her clenched fist. Had he bothered to look at her face, he would have seen her blushing.

"I know you prefer full moons, but-" here she opened her hands- "I wanted to distinguish it from just a round rock, or a skipping stone." In between her fingers was a brilliant stone of white and creme, shaped as a crescent moon. He stared down at it, unsure of what to say. Akashi continued to cease the rise of an awkward silence, "I used a kunai for the basic shape, then smother the edges with sand."

Gaara stared a moment longer before grabbing ahold of himself again. Shukaku laughed eagerly inside of him.

"I've never received a gift before..." His fingers hovered over the beautiful offering, "...nor do I need one." He shot away from her, knocking the stone from her hand in the process. Akashi seemed unphased.

"Well it's yours now, I've no need for it. If you wish it dust and creaky floorboards, so be it." Not a hint of hurt or defeat of any kind could be detected anywhere in her voice, however the glint of excitement that was there in her eyes when she had first presented her gift had vanished. Gaara, too, remained stoic.

"What do you want?" he demanded.

"To check on you. The final exam is tomorrow."

"You're a stupid girl for bothering be just for that."

"I only wish to help."

"You do naught but get in my way."

Akashi sighed softly, but nodded. "As you wish, then; I'll leave. But please consider keeping that stone with you. In a pouch, a pocket, anywhere." She paused, an air of unease about her, before continuing. "It is destined to bring you success."

"I need no trinket to bring myself success."

"So you say." The nervous air was still about her, though Gaara didn't notice it, Shukaku did- and he knew exactly why it was there..... "Goodbye for now, Gaara of the Desert."

She started down the railing again when she stopped once more, looking up at her friend with wide green eyes. The moon-stone was inches from her fingers. She opened her mouth, as if to speak again, but soon simply closed it after saying nothing. Then she restarted her trip to the ground.

Gaara glanced over at the stone. After a long while, he walked over and snatched it from the floor. It felt warm and smooth in his hand; surely from the sand.

He wondered if she had possibly used his sand.

Gaara never had a perfect life. Not one second of any year he had yet lived had ever been a happy one, not even close to happy. Except, perhaps, two...

The first occured when he was much younger, and hours later is was proven false. Details of this encounter were forcefully lost in his memory, hidden away in the back of his mind so as not to be remembered.

The second...

Gaara stared at the small moon-stone in the palm of his hand. With his fingers, he traced the faint gold-ish lines in the white rock. He showed no sign of emotion whatsoever, only stared at it and felt it in his hand.

Kinosa Akashi was nothing special. In fact, she was anything but. Her life was ordinary. Her face was ordinary. Her skills were ordinary. She acted strange, but she was not, in fact, strange. Simply alone.

If this was the case, then why did he not force her to leave him be, or just kill her? If this was the case...

Why did he feel... _alive_.... with _her_?

With their occasional meetings as the exception, Gaara only felt alive during the time he spent killing others, taking lives. A good fight tamed his thirst for blood, a killing made it stronger. Blood was his addiction.

Akashi had become his antidrug.

Gaara then realized he hated her, for now he had to reconsider all he thought he knew. He figured he had most of this 'life' concept down- eat, drink, kill, sleep with eyes open. Dedicate self-existence to the demon inside of him. Easy enough; with this he could put aside his contemplations of 'love' and the like.

But damn that girl for living, for approaching her. Damn her! With her in the way, he is confused.

Gaara turned, his eyes peeking out from his burning red hair, and stared up at the sky. "Too early for rooftops," he muttered, then sulked off into the darkness of his room.


	3. Confusion

**two. Confusion.**

Day of the final exam.

Of her squad, only Akashi and Shikamaru got as far as the final exam- her other two teammates, Yamanaka Ino and akimichi Chouji failed the preliminary round; Ino having fought the pink-haired bubbly Sasuke-worshipper, Haruno Sakura, and Chouji having fought some 'something-Dosu' character of the sound village. Akashi and Shikamaru, however, did not taste their defeat- Akashi overtook her own personal rival, Tenten, and Shikamaru easily beat another un-nameable sound ninja girl.

The survivors of the preliminaries had all been told who their final opponents would be, which, Shikamaru figured, might've been the reason Akashi had been especially quiet and 'out-of-whack' as of late. Her opponent for the day, as announced by the Third Hokage, was none other than Gaara of the Sand Village.

Akashi lacked confidence, of course, for she knew better than most how powerful Gaara was; though she wasn't afraid for her life so much as his last reminder of his own humanity. She would die, this was sure, but so would he- in the sense that Shukaka would take over completely.

...and not give back control. Ever.

Shikamaru glanced over at his fellow survivor. Her soft brown and purple hair was down, hanging by her elbows, instead of up in their usual side bunches. It swayed in the slight breeze, brushing up against her stoic face. He lowered his eyes to the arena before them and watched as the first match ended.

Akashi's was next.

"Gaara," began the proctor, whose name neither teammate knew. Akashi readied herself for her entry in the arena, lowering her body and nearly pounced before sheheard the other name- "and Uchihua, Sasuke."

Shocked gasps and screams of 'what?!' were heard from all around, and Shikamaru looked over the girl beside him once more. She was frozen in her position and, as usual, expressionless- though the surprise and rage shone through to him from behind her glassy green eyes.

"Why..." she started softly, but did not finish, for then a jounin fell to her side from out of nowhere.

"Excuse me, miss Akashi," he stated, "but the Hokage wishes to speak with you." She obliged, nodding to Shikamaru, then jumped away with the ninja.

Akashi didn't wake up until close to five hours after going off with the jounin, and when she did, she was alone, and in pain.

Sitting up, the girl quickly made an assessment of her surroundings.

Dark.

In the woods... maybe four or five miles from Konoha...

Silent..?

Woods are never silent, especially when located so close to a village. Akashi stood and looked down at herself. Everything was normal except for two things- a cut on her leg, just abve her knee, and her headband- her headband was missing, gone from its usual resting place over her left eye. _Did the jounin take it?_

Looking up again at the sky, she noticed within the darkness a messy pathway constructed of fallen trees. Akashi had very little sense of direction, but she had a feeling this path did not head towards her home.

The entire scene screamed 'ninja mission' and, though her instinct told her to go home, she found herself leaping up and following the trail of destruction. Nothing about the day was making sense to her... first, she isn't called to fight Gaara, then a jounin calls her to meet with the Hokage, and five hours later, she wakes up alone in the forest with a cut on her leg and no headband. Something inside of her screamed _'Gaara.' _Or, rather, _'Shukaku.'_

_Of all the people, it had to be Sasuke..._

After an hour or so of flying through trees, Akashi started to hear things- strange things, fighting noises, but not those of two nnjas. It sounded like a demon quarrell, with growling noises, screeching, high-and-low-pitched cries...

_Of all the people, it had to be Sasuke..._

A cold spark of fright flew throughout her body. She jumped a while longer, getting closer to the source of such cacaphonous noise, but not close enough that someone could spot her crouched figure hiding within the branches and leaves of the tree.

_Of all the people, it had to be Sasuke..._

As she had suspected, the echoes of fighting were indeed of a fight between two demons- it was, in fact, Naruto's nine-tailed fox, and none other than Shukaku. Her eyes widened as she watched her best friend become more and more overtaken by the demon. the more consumed by hatred Gaara became, the more obvious it was that he would not win this battle. Naruto's red chakra set the scene aflame and Gaara's eyes became bewildered as the fox-boy came in for the final blow...

_Of all the people, it had to be Sasuke..._

Akashi screamed at herself; she couldn't just stand there, watching Gaara die due to Shukaku's desperate thirst for blood. Just when it seemed like she should give up hope, though, she finally got her body to move as she had kept demanding it to. without much thought, Akashi threw herself from the tree, silently rushing through the air to reach Gaara just in time. She grabben him with surprising strength, pulling him away with her as Naruto's red-chakra-infused fist was about to collide with his half-demon face.

_Of all the people, it had to be Sasuke..._

Shukaku started to fade away, then, slipping back into his hideaway inside Gaara's body. Then, with both spirits hidden, the body went limp with unconsciousness.

_Of all the people....._

Akashi turned back to glare at Naruto, and unexpectedly large amount of emotion in her expression. Brows furrowed and eyes watering, she stood up and began walking toward the confused blonde with fury seeping from her every pore.

The nine-tailed fox too sank back into his host, leaving Naruto to deal with the frightening and Gaara-protective kunoichi by himself. It was easy for him to admit he was extremely nervous about her sudden show of emotion... and it was _anger_, no less.

"Akashi," he started, putting his slightly-trembling hands up. "W-wait, stop! You d-don't even know though wh-whole stor-ry!"

She kept on towards him, picking up pace...

The rest was lost in her memory when she, too fell unconscious only minutes later.


	4. Acceptance

**three. Acceptance.**

"How is she doing?"

_That was a female voice. Who's? I've heard it before...._

"She's still out, but everyone says she'll be fine." _Male voice._ "I sent some medical ninjas to gather the ingredients for something that will ease her pain." _Someone touched my arm, ugh. Male voice..? _"I can hardly believe she betrayed her own village to protect Gaara."

_....!_

"I'm not sure she realized exactly what she was doing at the time," the female said softly. A sigh fell from the right side of Akashi, and as she continued regaining her consciousness, she recognized the speakers as Temari and Kankurou- Gaara's siblings. A low and barely audible groan came from Akashi's throat, but their conversation continued with neither sibling having noticed.

"Has Gaara said anything yet?"

Kankurou replied with a suddenly remorseful tone. "No. He's still unconscious." Akashi's eyes began to open then, and to her full surprise she awoke not in a Leaf Village Recovery building, but instead in a strange, tan room with depressing creme curtains all around, with a sickly grey-ish light source. She groaned again but still no one heard her. "Shukaku is really making him sick. Sicker than before."

"Does that demon even realize how he's killing himself, too?" Temari said back, now a bit upset. "He can't just kill Gaara, his body is both of their's."

"He's trying to kill Gaara's spirit. The increasing sickness is probably just his failed attempts at doing so." Kankurou sighed, and glanced down at the girl they stood beside to see her trying to sit up.

"Will he be okay?" The two looked at each other, then back at her with reasonably fake smiles.

"You should be thinking of yourself right now, kiddo," Kankurou insisted gently. "You're badly hurt. You realize you took on a demon, right?"

She ignored the strong temptation of pointing out that the nine-tailed fox wasn't active when she attacked Naruto and instead kept on about Gaara's well-being. Temari finally hushed her persistant brother and proceeded to answer the younger girl herself, taking her hand and offering a soft smile.

"You got to him in time, miss Akashi," she said. "For that we are all grateful. He would have little chance of survival if you hadn't jumped in when you did."

"So he's fine?" They're lying.

"Well," Kankurou interjected, "he'll e all right. But not immediately. It'll take time before he can run around fighting again."

Akashi fell back on the bed she had finally managed to sit up straight in, sighing loudly. She took a few minutes to rest before asking more questions, this time not concerning Gaara so much as herself- though she had a feeling she wouldn't get the entire truth; at least, not yet.

"What is this place?"

"The Sand Village," Temari stated, a tone in her voice saying it was a rather obvious fact. "When we dropped in to grab Gaara, we saw you not too far off. We watched the last minute or two of your fight before Blondie ran off and decided to help you. But-" here she frowned a bit, "you should know... Due to your betrayal, Konoha sees you as a rogue ninja."

"However, our Kazekage has greatly accepted you as a sand shinobi, if you wish to be a ninja still," Kankurou piped up. His overly-optimistic mood bothered her, but she remained silent. He pulled a shining, red-clothed sand village headband from behind himself and showed it to her. It shone rather brightly in the grey light, and she could tell it had been freshly made. After a moment's hesitation, she took it in her hands. The cloth was tough, but somehow still softer than her old one...

A sigh escaped her lips once more.

She then wasn't sure if she really wanted to question the two further; after all, the truth they were given had hidden secrets and lies, she detected so immediately- however she soon realized she had little choice. Just as she opened her mouth again, to say something that probably had little relevance to anything, someone began screaming from the behind another curtain. The screams were high and panicked, and very familiar... Both siblings turned their heads, and Temari dropped Akashi's hand as she rushed behind the curtain.

Her blood suddenly froze in her veins as a sickly realization overcame her. It was Gaara screaming.

Immediatly she leapt from her bed, despite the pain that flew through her entire body, and ran to the source of such heart-freezing noise.

_"No!" _Gaara cried_. "Leave me! Leave me now!"_

He shoved the closest people away from him, and Akashi could see the fright in everyone's eyes as they stared in pure horror. Upon seeing her, though, Gaara suddenly stopped and stared at her.

Shukaku started laughing from inside him, and then Gaara's body began transforming like it had the previous evening, only faster. To her surprise as well as everyone's around her, she felt no fear, and definitely didn't express any; only watched as her best friend's body twisted and stretched and fell prey to Shukaku's. Laughter erupted and echoed through the entire level of the building.

"**You stupid girl**," his and Gaara's voice said simultaneously, "**you think either of us are moved in any way by your presence? We both want you gone**." The demonic creature leapt up from the bed, landing in front of the stoic girl in a crouched position. Glaring at her with dark, evil eyes, Shukaku laughed more. Akashi twitched slightly, almost drawing back from him, though not- This was the first time Shukaku had truly revealed himself to her without using Gaara directly, and though it was a most disturbing sight, Akashi stared straight back at him without saying a thing. "**You can't save him**," he growled then, smirking at her. "**I wouldn't let you even if you had a chance. Soon, you'll see what I mean. He's turning into a monster, you know**." More laughter. "**Girl**," the thing breathes, "**he's turning into **_**me**_."

And then, Gaara is screaming again, lying on the floor with fingers scraping at his own face. Were he courageous enough, were he able, really- he would have knelt before the girl in front of him, begging for her help she'd be all-too-willing to give, begging for her to just get rid of this damned thing inside of him, ask her not to listen to him and demand that she tell everyone to leave the both of them to their problems as she held him in her arms, telling him everything would be fine... but he kept on screaming. Tears and blood fell all over the floor as he thrashed about.

Akashi forced herself to recover from the demonic encounter and dropped to her knees, reaching around the terrified red-haired boy and catching ahold of his arm. She pulled him close to her, and somehow managed to keep him in her grasp without being torn apart of thrown across the room.

"Temari," she managed through gritted teeth, looking up at the older girl before she got the message and, with the help of her brother, Dragged Gaara back to his bed. Screams of no! and stop! tempted Akashi to stay in the room, but she couldn't persuade her body not to run out of it no matter how desperately she tried.

She ran as fast as she could until she couldn't run anymore, dropping down in the lonely corner of a room no one seemed to be in. Her breathing unsteady, she tried to calm herself down; tears came to her eyes but she forced them back down. He body begged for her to sleep- whether from the whole Shukaku experience, some drugs that puppet-boy gave her, or something else, she didn't know -but she refused to fall prey to such a thing as rest. Right then, all she needed to do was calm down, dammit, _calm down, _and then maybe she could find her things and go on back to Konoha.

The kunoichi's voice then reminded her what had happened... _"Due to your betrayal, Konoha sees you as a rogue ninja."_ Did she really believe them? Something inside her gut told her distinctly that there was more to it, more to the story.. .but the people there, back in her dear Konoha... they weren't the type of people to ban ninja from their village for simply attacking another. There were always overheated sparring matches, and of course, they had everyone try to kill each other in the preliminaries in the first place. Things were not adding up.

Clutching her legs to her chest, Akashi rested her head on her knees and let out a large sigh. Her hair fell around her in a curtain of brown and dark purple, still uselessly dangling from her head with nothing else to do. The Sand headband she had tied around her wrist was miraculously still in place, and she lifted her face to look at it.

_...could tell it had been freshly made..._

Nothing felt right about this place, but it began to seem like she didn't have a choice. Carefully, she untied the red cloth and replaced it on her head in a way so all her hair, with the exception of her bangs, would no longer fall in her face. Stretching out her legs again, she took a deep breath and got onto her feet.

Just then, Kankurou found her, with two medical ninja trailing behind. He frowned at her. "You should get back in bed," he began, about to lecture her, until he saw the shine of the headband in her hair. He let out a breath and smiled at her. "Good decision," he offered, and held out his hand. "Come on, now. I'm going to show you something, and then you're going back to bed."

She took his hand; the warm material of his fingerless gloves felt good against her own cold skin. She followed him closely as he took her outside, taking hold of a bar as she set her eyes upon the village before them. Wind rushed through her hair, and Kankurou pushed in closer to her to whisper in her ear.

"Welcome to Suna," he said carefully. "Village of the Sand."


	5. Visitors

**AUTHOR'S NOTE.  
**Firstly I would like to apologize for not updating until now.. yes, it's been only [what, two?] days, however I would like to keep the 'new chapter each day' attitude going on. I didn't post yesterday because I wanted to try and start writing longer chapters so you have more to read. Ironic, I know- but I promise it won't take this long next time.  
Thank you to all my readers! Just know, I love reading reviews; so even if it's just a quick "this was interesting," please feel free to submit one! Thank you =]  
Oh, and one last thing- though Kankurou will be in upcoming chapters quite a bit, please do not forget/lose interest- **Gaara is still the second main character**. [first is Akashi, of course xp]. So, yeah. Sorry if that was somewhat of a spoiler.  
Onward!!

**

* * *

**

**f****our. Visitors.**

Gaara's eyes opened, and he was quite relieved when he found that he was once again alone. Entirely alone, too- meaning Shukaku had finally allowed him to have control over his body again. Or, perhaps, the drugs forced him to return to his hideout; either way, Gaara could be himself for once.

He swung his feet over the edge of his bed, pulling himself up. The entire level was silent, and he suspected it was early morning. He frowned and looked around; one curtain was partially open and upon looking closer, he discovered it led to Akashi. _The silly girl._

She didn't know what she had gotten herself into by saving him, did she? _Obviously not._

Thoughts of how Shukaku acted towards her flew to mind as he inched toward her bed. He wondered if what he said was true, wondered if he really did want her gone, or if Shukaku simply wanted both him and Akashi to think so. He didn't really believe he wanted her gone; after all, he had been pretty mutual on the whole situation, but at the same time, she wasn't so bad. Sure, she was ignorant, and far too persistant, but she was... sweet. Understanding. Charming, even- though she never tried, not once. Perhaps such innocence appealed to him just because she represented everything he'd never be? Everything he lacked?

She knew love, didn't she? Gaara wasn't sure. Then he winced at a sudden thought- what if she felt it for me?

Instantly he shoved such fantasies away; he'd been hurt before due to the fact that he had been gullible enough to believe someone could care for him. Akashi, though... she seemed incapable of causing such hurt, especially with the way she acted around him. Would someone really stare at the face of a demon, at the face of death, with no fearful expression; or grab and hold a frantic, screaming boy JUST to harm another? Just to harm him? Such an idea was ridiculous.

...and yet, for some reason, Gaara had become incredibly paranoid- afraid that Akashi's reasoning was for the worst.

He hovered over the girl, watching as her chest rose and fell while she breathed. Her eyelids fluttered, and her lips were parted slightly, fascinating Gaara with their soft pink color. Her hair was out of her face, which surprised him- every time he had ever seen her, her eyes were concealed by either her bangs or that 'incredibly irritating Konoha headband' she enjoyed slipping over her left. But now, they both were revealed, and a part of him wish she would awaken so he could bathe in their true color.

A hesitant hand rose, and slowly reached out toward the sleeping girl's face; Gaara watched as his trembling fingers softly brushed her cheek. Suddenly, he drew back- something didn't feel right; he felt very weak, where he hadn't before. He frowned in confusion, and peered first at his hand, then at her. _Is this your doing?_

He turned and readied himself to leave when something red caught his eye; a half-sigh escaped him as he discovered what it was. He couldn't help but pick it up, feeling the familiar red cloth in his hands, and running his fingers over the definite lines of the Suna headband. He wanted to take it with him, to throw it in his siblings' faces and ask them just WHAT they thought they were doing, but he put it down again with a slight shake of his head.

"You need to take care of yourself, Akashi," he muttered in his low growl of a voice. "You stupid, _stupid _girl."

Another slight shake of his head, and he left the room.

---------------------------------

"Good to see you awake, Gaara," an all-too familiar voice greeted him when he found his own room in his home. It was dripping with sarcasm, but still cheerful, and and Gaara's didn't buy the act of compassion his brother was trying to play for a single second.

He'd never been loved. Why would siblings be the exception of that statement? Sure, Temari, perhaps, was a bit more family-like than anyone else had ever been, but he knew how frightened she was, how disturbing she found him. She didn't cover it, but she was polite- he always figured her respectful attitude towards him would save her from getting hurt too much.

"Go away." he commanded the older ninja.

Kankurou ignored his brother's wish and took it more as a light suggestion, brushing it to the side. He leaned against the doorframe of the room and looked at him through a lowered gaze before looking around. "You went by Akashi's room," he pointed out. Gaara gave a slight nod, gesturing that his statement was correct; but not that he should continue. "You've a soft spot, eh kid?"

"I will kill you," Gaara threatened fearlessly, and though Kankurou knew he spoke the truth, he only sighed. Turning away and once again ignoring him, he walked toward the middle of the room. From there he took a frame in his hands, gazing at the image of their mother. He huffed slightly, then put it down, only to find something more interesting to admire.

"What's this?" Gaara turned and instantly shot out a thick, winding cylinder of sand to wrap around his brother's neck. The thing he had picked up fell from his gloved fingers so he could instead clutch at the sand that nearly snapped his neck.

"Get out of here." The sand dropped along with the last quick growl from Gaara's throat. Kankurou gasped, glaring at the younger boy but obeying.

When alone again, Gaara fought the persistant urge to punch himself for caring so _damn_ much about the thing his brother had messed with. He stared down at the fallen object before taking it in his hand, feeling its smooth curves and drowning his fingers in its discharge of the same excitement and happiness Akashi had in her eyes when she presented it to him.

He figured he didn't mind crescent moons so much afterall, especially not this one. The stone glimmered joyfully in his hand.

-----------------------------------------

"Morning."

The awkwaening girl looked up with half-closed eyes, covered in the foggy grey light that added brilliantly to the dreary mood. A smiling Kankurou was at her side. "Hey," she replied after taking a second to rub her eyes.

Kankurou gave her a bowl of something hot and sweet that she drank eagerly, then sat down beside her bed. He pulled out a clipboard and assumed the position of a nurse, ready to interview his sleepy client. "I've got to ask a few questions, if you don't mind." Akashi shook her head, careful not to break eye contact. He sighed, and scratched under his headpiece. "Okay, kiddo... Kinosa Akashi, right? And you're... fourteen?"

"Yeah." Her voice was soft, still recovering from the partially drug-enhanced sleep. "I'll be fifteen come may fourth."

"Oh? Eleven days after that and I'm sixteen."

She glanced up at him then, catching a glimpse at the little bit of intrigue settling in his expression. A year and eleven days, only a year and eleven days... she figured he was pondering their slight difference in age with many a suspicious thought...

"Born in Konoha?"

"Yes."

"Blood type B?"

"Yes."

"And Kekkei Genkai or the like?"

At this she stopped, a little confused at why such information was needed. Hesitantly, she opened her mouth and replied with the quickest "no" she could manage. Though he stared at her for a lengthy moment, he didn't question her further, and after scribbling something on the clipboard, he set it aside and stood up to leave. Akashi shot up from her half-lying position and reached out to him. "Wait," she started. "Gaara, is he-"

"He's fine," he smiled at her, "not ninja-worthy just yet, but he's up and walking around. In fact," he glanced behind himself; "he's not even in there now."

"Would I be correct in assuming that I, too, am well enough to get out of bed?" Kankurou crossed his arms, playfully smirking at the seemingly desperate girl.

"Well," he began, a suggestive tone in his voice, "if you can get up and walk out of here without taking my hand, you will be taken to your new room and from there you may do as you like." He laughed. "But, careful- don't push yourself, kiddo."

Taking in a deep breath, Akashi managed to tackle his proposal, easily lifting herself from the bed and walking out of the room, all while managing to ignore the puppetteer's outstretched hand. When it became apparent that she would make it on her own, Kankurou went back to grab her accessories- including her white, blue-stringed sleeves, long fingerless gloves and the shiny new Suna headband.

"Thank you," she offered him, taking her belongings and smiling briefly at the older boy.

"No problem; hey-!"

He caught her swiftly as she nearly fell over trying to walk forward where there was no floor, only steps. She groaned slightly; "That doesn't count, does it...?"

He smiled at her. "Well, as much as you probably should stay in bed, I'll let it go- though only on one condition."

She waited respectfully, looking up at him from her place in his arms and openly willing to negotiate with the boy; willing to do practically anything to justget her_ out of bed._ "You have to allow me to be your escort if you wish to go somewhere beside your room."

"That's fine, I accept," she returned, and he helped her stand on her own. Despite his suspicious attitude, she found him rather sweet; she wondered if he had somewhat of a _'thing'_ for her, or something of that sort.

"Good. Now, let's find your room, kiddo."

* * *

Eh, one more author's note.  
Another reason I've been avoiding this is cuz I have been working on something absolutely amazing :D I present, Kinosa Akashi of Konoha! [ i234 (dot) photobucket (dot) com (slash) albums (slash) ee55 (slash) hopeslastforever__x (slash) akashimain2 (dot) jpg]  
If the link doesn't work, please email me or hit me up on myspace [both can be found on my profile on here o.O] and I'll send it to you personally =]


	6. Confrontation

**five. Confrontation.**

Akashi wandered the halls alone once Kankurou had at last left her, and though she didn't know exactly what she was doing, she found herself trying to find some hint as to what exactly was going on.

She had asked him, the puppet-boy, what he knew, but he didn't give much of an explanation. "I know what you know, kid," he had told her, shrugging a bit and letting out part of a sigh. "If you're really that concerned, perhaps I can get you to meet with Baki-sensei, or someone that might know. But you're dancing on thin ice with this one."

She didn't bother to question why she was, in fact, _'dancing on thin ice,'_ nor why he was lying to her so much; though she felt tempted to. Several times she tried to piece together the story in her mind, but nothing came other than the fact that she knew, just knew, that they were related somehow. The exam, the jounin, the fight, the 'rogue ninja' deal. It all went together.

She accepted Kankurou's offer of arranging a meeting with someone higher than he, though she felt it wouldn't help too much either. If Kankurou was so secretive, this Baki-sensei character would be as well, if not even more. Which was why, at that moment, she was sneaking around the building she had been given a room in.

Wary, of course, was she as she stepped around corners, searching for something she didn't know and avoiding signs of activity. She managed to sneak past the older siblings' rooms, and just past Gaara's when she was finall caught- by who, she wasn't sure, until the hands around her eyes and mouth let go of her and pushed her into a small room who's door she remembered passing.

Sure enough, as she turned around, Gaara was closing his door and turning to her, crossing his arms. She stared at him dumbly, in shock.

"You may speak," he told her, attempting to make his voice sound less sinister as he informed her of what she didn't realize she was permitted to do. She stared at him still, her eyes gazing through to him with a particularly confused expression. He clarified his previous statement with a question- "What are you doing?"

She found her voice again and hesitantly answered; "I'm trying to understand why exactly I'm here." Her gaze then fell to search around her, and passed over the stone she thought he had left in Konoha. He caught her with his own eyes as she saw it but said nothing of it.

"Akashi," he began, stunning the girl yet again by using her name, "you need to leave." She foolishly started towards the door when he stopped her and corrected himself a second time- "You need to leave Suna."

"I'm banned from Konoha," she managed, nearly biting herself for being so suddenly nervous. He leaned into her, just slightly, and she felt her heart pound in her chest.

"I doubt you really are," he said, and turned from her to walk torward the small window, setting his eyes on the windy village around them. "They lie to you."

"Why?" The questions began to unload. "Gaara, if this is true, then why? Why are they lying? Why am I here in the first place? Do you know anything about th-"

"I do not," he interrupted sharply, and the girl fell silent again. His chin fell forward a bit, and he pulled his arms closer to his chest. "I only know that you are in danger here." He paused before turning to her with suddenly wild eyes. "Akashi, listen. You must leave, and soon."

She peered at him in wonder, watching the sparks in his eyes fly as he spoke. Shukaku must be entirely asleep, she imagined, and was correct in her assumption. _I think I like the true Gaara._

"What danger am I possibly in?" she questioned, and he shook his head.

"I am unaware of their reasons, but you are here as a part of some plot I imagine the Kazekage and the Council are working up." With a sigh, he beckoned for her to join him, and she obliges. "Look at the sky."

Brilliant oranges and fiery reds fill the scene, and it appears as if someone has set the clouds aflame. Akashi watches the wind whisk them away, and admires the sun's glow as it falls behind the wall surrounding Suna. In amazement, she lifted her hand to the window, touching the cool glass with just her fingers and preoccupying Gaara with her strange nature. "It's beautiful," she breathes.

"When the sky is like this, there's danger," he tells her, a strict tone in his voice. He pulled Akashi's face away from the window as gently as he knew how to stare her directly in the eyes. "You must leave," he repeated, fingertips slightly stroking the curve of her face and neck. Her face darkens with the light flush of embarrassment and she tries to find her words.

"What will happen to y-"

"Go." Gaara's voice had fallen to a half-whisper, though it echoed throughout Akashi's entire body as it never had before. He let go of her face and backed away. "Sleep tonight, then leave tomorrow; a sandstorm is expected come midnight and you're not experienced enough with sand to be safe."

She was hurried out of his room with nothing more than his last words and a quick brush of his fingers against her cheek. Gaara's concern for Akashi startled not only her, but himself as well; if not more.

_Is this... love?_

------

"Akashi?"

The name was one she wish she didn't own when Kankurou called it out through the dim light of the hallway. She froze where she was, closing her eyes with a slow exhale. Kankurou walked over towards her. He was dressed in only a black shirt and thin black pants, and looked as if he had just showered, for his hair was wet and his face was clean of the usual purple lines he drew. He frowned in confusion at her but was still kind as he spoke.

"What are you doing out here?" She searched for an explanation but was hard at finding one, so she stared shamefully at him in silence. He sighed. "Come on, let's get you back to your room."

He carefully slipped his arm around her shoulders and walked her down the curved hallway to the sandy door she had been shown by him hours before. He ceased asking her of her reasoning for leaving and instead smiled at her, letting his hand fall from her shoulder in a way that ran it along her arm. His fingers dropped into hers, and she stared at him through her green gaze of wonder. "You shouldn't be up so early," he muttered, glancing down from her eyes at another part of her face.

She slyly replied, "and neither should you."

"I have things to attend to soon," he explained, though unnessecarily. He smiled again, though it soon fell as he drowned in the eyeful of seawater she displayed. With his free hand, he brushed the purple bangs from her face and tucked them behind her ear. He found himself sinking closer and closer, until their noses were nearly touching on the sides, and she simply stared at him, frozen with the shock of someone being so incredibly close to her and what she should think and whether she should pull away or lean in or-

His eyelids fell shut and he brushed his lips against hers, and though at first she winced at the unfamiliar feel of his skin, she found her own eyes slipping shut and her own lips pressing back into his. This lasted only a few seconds, though, because she realized exactly what she was doing and pulled away, hitting the back of her head on the door behind herself and grimacing at the pain. He drew back enough to let her breathe and muttered a quick "sorry."

His chest was nearly touching hers, and she could barely manage to breathe anyway despite the space he had given back to her. She was unsure what she was feeling, but she knew what had happened- she had shared her first real moment of intimacy with a boy she didn't know very well and definitly not a boy she had feelings for. She thought herself a sinner for a minute before she found herself tasting the puppetteer's mouth once again, this time for a longer while.

Then she pulled away again, and once more hit the back of her head on the door. Softly groaning from the pain, Akashi heard Kankurou's cheerful laughter and frowned at him until he apologized a second time. "I- I really should go back to sleep," she managed, and fell back as the smirking boy slipped the door open from behind her. A tiny yelp escaped her mouth but he caught her and her lips again, far quicker than before, until she hit him in the stomach and stood up to brush herself off.

He laughed again, despite the newly forming bruise. When he was silent, though, he took on a more serious expression. "I'm sorry, kid," he told her. She shook her head respectfully, understanding the joke, but he shook his head. "I mean for.. you know."

"Ah. Well-"

"I know it's soon for that kind of thing, and, you know..."

"It's fi-"

"I don't want you to take me for the kind of person who only wants.. uh, you know..."

"Kankurou."

"Hmm?"

She pecks him quickly on the cheek before withdrawing and flashing an honest smile. "Do not apologize. It was sweet."

He blushed just the slightest bit before nodding and going off to his own room. Akashi shut the door and sighed, falling back against the wall. She repeated the just-ended event in her mind and sighed again, then shakily stood and crashed into her bed.

All memory of Gaara's warnings were lost, and she fell asleep to thoughts of the silly, makeup-wearing puppet-boy who had invaded her personal space in the most luxurious and delightful of ways.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**  
I apologize for the lack of stability with Gaara's personality. I'm somewhat of an impatient writer, and though he's supposed to be undergoing changes emotionally, I think I might've done it a little soon. Oh well, it's still okay, right? XD  
Thank you for reading! New chapter soon. -hearts-


	7. Intervention and Fragile

**AUTHOR'S NOTE  
**Sorry for the late update- I know, it's been a few days, and I don't have a good excuse this time XD I've been busy sobbing over Toradora! because Taiga.. well, she's just the cutest thing :D  
Anyway, here's parts six and seven- I merged them together because they're kinda short. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

six. Intervention.**

The air was strangely cold the next day, though the winds were the same, and no windows or doors were left open in the building Akashi was in. It was mid-afternoon and she sat in the hallway, slumped against a wall, a violet dress hanging off her shoulders.

"Wear this kiddo, until your clothes are clean, Kankurou had told her earlier, handing her a dress she recognized as Temari's. She took it and changed, then asked Kankurou to give his opinion. He had set his dark, kind eyes in the girl's body with a respectful mind, but when he looked again at her, processing her appearance completely, he couldn't help but stare as his mouth dropped open the slightest bit.

Purple cloth hanging off her shoulders and falling to her knees, with a red sash- the colors complimented her natural beauty brilliantly. And, unlike her previous outfit, it wasn't baggy in the least- Kankurou found it stunning, but Akashi said she felt like a failed clone of Temari's. Cue, Temari.

The sixteen-year-old kunoichi stepped into the room with an open mind ready to help, though found less work than her brother had made her anticipate. All she did was rearrange the sash so it fell off her neck and around her waist like the other had, and added a pair of black spandex for underneath [much like that fool Saura always wore].

She hadn't seen much of Gaara that day, or she might've gone so far as to ask him his opinion of her new look, but he was nowhere to be seen- she even checked his room, which was qute risky considering the temper he usually wore on his sleeve, but he still wasn't found. Akashi was a bit worried; eventually she remembered her discussion with him, though it was too late for her to venture back to Konoha. Gaara spoke the truth, she figured, but when there isn't much to do, there isn't much to do.

"Akashi!" Kankurou came at her and jumped over the startled girl, landing on the opposite side from which he came. "Baki-sensei can talk with you now," he told her, taking her hand to help her up.

In front of them stood a tall, mysterious man whose face was half-covered by a cloth. She turned her head respectfully to him, and he smiled. "Come," he offered gently. "Let us sit somewhere more appropriate."

He took her to a room with a decent lighting fixture and a table surrounded by comfortable-looking chairs. His explanation for such luxury around the two buildings she had been in was that she 'saved Gaara, son of the Kazekgae, and wasn't too shabby a ninja herself.' The serious questioning began when Kankurou, whom Baki had told to fetch his siblings, returned with the completed task.

With a suspecting gaze, Gaara stared at each of the people surrounding him, centering on Baki and Kankurou. vHe was very interested in hearing what exactly they would say to Akashi with the expectation of earning her trust.

"First, before we start, I'd like to say one thing," Baki began when the five of them were settled in their seats at the table. He noted Gaara's distance from the rest along with Akashi's position next to Kankurou. With a small, barely audible sigh, he crossed his arms on the table and ooked at Akashi. "I want you to know that though you are free to ask any questions you wish, I do not have all the answers." He paused before adding a quick, "you may not want to know, anyway."

Akashi nodded her understanding. Kankurou held her hand secretly, hidden beneath the dark wood of the low black table before them. She was about to open her mouth when a voice spoke out from the opposing end of the table.

"I've got questions," Gaara said loudly in his intimidating, monstrous voice. Baki nodded to him, signaling for hm to continue- though he quickly regretted this. "For example," Gaara restarted, "what makes you think Akashi will betray her hometown?"

All but the mentioned froze. Temari cast a hesitant eye in the younger kunoichi's direction, and luckily she was preoccupied with her own confused gaze. Gaara glanced at her; "Don't be naive, Kinosa. Go home."

"That's enough," Baki managed at last. He sent a malicious stare down towards the fiery-headed, outspoken boy across from himself. "Do not spit such nonsense. What makes you think I would have her do such a thing?"

Gaara smiled, but ceased to corrupt the converstation furthermore; after all, he had smoothly presented the support he needed for his warnings to Akashi- quite a bit of proof, indeed- he saw it register on her face the instant he brought out the first pieces.

First, the silence- phase one of 'Operation Truth' = complete. Question would be presented, a lengthy pause would occur before an answer.

Phase two = complete; answer would reveal hidden fact; example- being personal and using words such as 'I' and 'would.'

_I would never have her do such a thing._

He was confident that his plan worked, and it showed in Akashi's eyes, despite her stoic face.

_Success._

Akashi now sat in silence, her hand limp in Kankurou's, eyes set on the dark table in front of herself. The hole she found herself in was quite deep, with Gaara's latest addition caving in above her. Frustrated, the young kunoichi slowly released an angry breath to calm herself before looking up at Baki with a half-smile.

"I did not suspect anything of the sort," she offered up, lying in the most convincing of ways. Baki nodded his thanks to her and she continued. "Though, I do have a question similar..."

"Shoot," Kankurou piped up with a wink.

"Why exactly was I labeled as a rogue ninja by Konoha?"

Baki took a deep breath before answering her, placing his folded hands in front of himself. "We're not entirely sure," he told her. "Currently, all that's been communicated is that Konoha views your actions toward Uzumaki Naruto as treacherous, and since you personally did not have permission to cross the border of the Leaf Village, you are considered a rogue ninja and are charged with abandonment and, well, treason. We are trying to clear things up- in fact, we are to meet with the Hokage in one week's time."

For once, Akashi was glad to accept the sand jounin's words as truth; and Gaara agreed. With a new hope in her heart, she continued, "Do you know why, at the final exam, Uchiha Sasuke was chosen to oppose Gaara instead of me?"

The redheaded demon-container's ears perked up at this question; _Why is she so curious about that?_

"I do," Baki returned, slightly reluctant in saying so. "Our Kazekage wished it. Some way or another, he convinced the Hokage that you were unprepared for such a match and insisted you fought someone else."

She grimaced, but accepted it. "And what of the forest?"

"Forest?"

"I went with a jounin who summoned me to the third Hokage just after Gaara's match was announced," she answered in an attempt to explain further. "Next thing I realized, I awoke in the forest- alone," she said. "And my headband was missing."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I have no knowledge of that. But we can take it up with the Hokage when we travel to Konoha."

She nodded politely, though let out a sigh.

He was lying again. Oh, well.

***

**seven. Fragile.**

In one week's time, Akashi would officially betray Konoha.

It was all perfectly clear now; she was taken here for a reason- in fact, her entire situation occured for a reson, and that reason had to be that she was an essential plan to overtake Konoha. The one thing that brought this all together in Gaara's mind was something Akashi said, the one sentence she had almost forgotten to mention, and it echoed in his thoughts...

_...and my headband was gone._

What reason would anyone have to steal her headband? They weren't worth much of anything, and it was incredibly unlikely for Akashi to have any 'die-hard-_fan' _that would take it... and as far as the jounin-abduction story, Gaara was certain that this mentioned jounin was Baki, or at least someone from the sand village. Either way, he was lying.

He knew she wanted to return to the Leaf Village; it was obvious. She missed her home. That's why there were things popping up that urged her to stay; for example, the proposal of being as respected a ninja as he and his siblings in Suna... and, of course, her newfound lover, Kankurou. Gaara clentched his teeth together at the thought of them together; the thought of his slimy, obedient-dog brother and the suddenly perfect Kinosa Akashi.

Ever since she'd gotten there, in fact, he'd been finding her presence more and more appealing. She looked different as well- especially that day. Her hair was no longer in playful side-bunches, and her clothing- the dress that looked far better on Akashi than it ever did on Temari- was such an attractive color; the soft shade of violet toning down the fierce highlights in her hair.

Then he considered the idea that she was always beautiful, he just didn't realize it due to Shukaku's forceful control.

Sighing, he slumped down against the wall of his room, considering how to convice her to believe him. He couldn't just tell her- that technique had been proven unsuccessful since she was, in fact, still there, and obviously did not heed his warnings.

_...and my headband was gone._

Gaara's drooping eyes snapped open with a new spark.

He would find her headband.

It was the only logical solution- upon seeing her worn, blue Konoha headband, Akashi would have no choice but to believe him, and then she'd leave. Those in charge at the Leaf Village would surely understand; with her new attire and the freshly crafted Suna headband, they too would have no choice but to believe what was presented, and everything would be right again.

He took in a deep breath, satisfied with his plan.

_Someone's rather smitten._

A heart-wrenching cakle echoed withing Gaara's body, causing his blood to freeze over in his veins. Shukaku was awake; and at a regrettably awful time. Breathing quickly then, Gaara glanced around the room, as if the precious drugs that forced the sand demon to subside would actually be located in the depths of his sanctuary-like bedroom. This made Shukaku laugh more.

_You've had more than enough control, Gaara of the Desert. Are you not tired? Rest._

His head nodded with the sudden urge to sleep, no doubt due to the demon's command. He felt himself begin to slip away, pulled back into the shadows by a force that in no way resembled a human. Slowly but surely, Gaara lost consciousness, despite the panic that arose in him; the desperate screams and requests to stay in charge for just a little while longer.

Shukaku grinned maliciously, but didn't change from the human form- at least, not yet. Instead, he simply stood and stretched, quickly recovering from being out of control for the surprisingly long-lasting few nights.

First stop- the Kinosa girl's room. Shukaku was all too eager for an encounter with the brat trying to figure out something she shouldn't be curious about.


	8. Misunderstood

**eight. Misunderstood.**

Akashi's heart raced as Kankurou pulled away from her, opening his eyes and softly stroking her cheek with his thumb. They had stalked off after meeting with Baki, sneaking around the building to Kankurou's room. Once safely inside, he practically attacked her, forcing her against a desk and suffocating her lips with his own. Never before had he been so overtaken with the urge to kiss someone as badly as he became with her, he admitted to himself, and something told him that she didn't mind it all that much, either.

When he dove in again, Akashi laughed and gently pushed him back. "Breathing is crucial to survival," she offered as explanation, and his confused expression soon transformed into a smile as he backed away more.

"I'm sorry." He looked down at the body he had crushed between himself and the wood. "For that too."

"Excused," she said carelessly, straightening herself up before taking a seat with him on his bed. Looking around at the room he had personalized for himself, she realized his wasn't so different from her own back in Konoha; very neat but obviously the home of a packrat.

"See that?" She looked in the direction Kankurou pointed to see a large painting of a dead tree. "That is my most prized possession." She strained to see the title before he continued. "I obtained it from a merchant here in Suna. The artist is unknown to most so I won't bother saying a name, but the title is _Irony_."

"Why _Irony_?"

He smiled, and she could tell even before he went on that this was a story he very much enjoyed sharing. Stretching and placing his arm around her, he flashed a smile. "Because that tree is actually the Tree of Life."

He promised himself he'd cherish her confused eyes and double-take she gave him in return for weeks.

"Well," she retorted after a moment, "I can understand the title, then." He chuckled, pleased with the somewhat-unsure tone in her voice, then sighed and pulled her closer.

"The artist's intentional message will never be known, since he has long since passed," he continued, "but I have a pretty good idea what it is. The condition of the painting makes it seem pretty old, right? A good fourteen or fifteen years? Which means it was done during the time of Shukaku's _'reign'_ in Suna," he said. Holding up his hand, he pulled his other arm back and prepared a visual guide for the girl he spoke to. "Life," -he raised his left hand- "and Death," -he raised his right. She nodded slightly in understanding before he went on.

"Suna's people were going through endless suffering and tragedy; they were hurt, killed, everything. At this point, Suna's metaphorical Tree of Life lost its leaves and fruit and stood bare for all to see. However, when his sprit was put in with Gaara's" -here he folded his hands together- "the suffering ended, and hope was restored. Thus, the tree began to bud again."

Akashi hummed her approval of the story, "So the painting represents a time in Suna's history that you a proud of," she offered, and he grinned, kissing her sweetly on the cheek.

"That's my girl."

"Why was Shukaku's spirit put in with Gaara's, anyway?" she questioned curiously. He sighed, thinking hard.

"Power, I guess," he shrugged. "I've no sure reason, kiddo, except that our father probably though his son would overpower the demon and use his ability for the good of the Sand Village." He put his arm around her again and huffed. "Of course, we know how that went wrong."

"Maybe he just needs encouragement," Akashi suggested with a thoughtful mind. "The negativity makes him feel hated and alone, so he probably doesn't care who's in charge of his body as long as the demon is pleased with him. If someone showed him love and compassion, perhaps he'd take a different approach in dealing with Shukaku."

Kankurou shrugged. "You know, kid, you're sweet to be concerned about him, but it's not use; he's hopeless when it comes to love. Gaara has no feelings, he'll just rip you apart." He held her closer and nuzzled his nose into her hair. "And I really wouldn't want that to happen."

She huffed and pushed him off her. "I won't cease to help him," she said. "That's _exactly_ why he has problems."

Annoyed, Akashi pushed him completely away and stood up. "I'm tired," she lied without care to make it convincing. "I'm going back to my own room." Walking out the door, she ignored his calls of 'wait!' and 'I'm sorry!' and sighed. She closed the door behind herself and started down the curved halls to her room.

She never understood why no one saw Gaara's situation as she did; she knew for herself (and considered it common sense) that if you ignore and already abandoned soul, it would fade to near-nothingness and adapt to the first thing it came across. For him, that 'first thing' just happened to be the very thing that caused his rejection; thought due to its loyalty to him and vice versa, he failed to see through the trap set up in the beginning and allowed the demon within him to control his life. This frustrated Akashi to the point of exhaustion, but she realized she had a chance of helping him if she didn't reject him like everyone else did. _We're the same_, she realized, and accepted that fact easily. However, she came to another realization that he would be harder to convince.

"Where did you run off to?" a voice Akashi recognized as Gaara's asked just as she reached for her doorknob. She spun around to see him standing behind her with his arms crossed as they usually were.

"I was with Kankurou," she said after a few seconds, and turned back to the door. It opened and she went inside, leaving it ajar for her fiery-headed best friend to follow of he wished to, then fell onto her bed.

He walked in as she figured he would, closing the door, leaning on it, then staring at her. "In his room?"

"Yes," she responded, unphased. It was incredibly unusual, she thought, for him to ask such pointless questions, but she shrugged the arising suspiscion off.

"You care for him?"

"I suppose."

"I see." She would've bothered being confused or frustrated at that point but she was preoccupied realizing her lie to Kankurou wasn't much of a lie afterall. The sheets were soft beneath her, and the pillow was quite inviting as well; she sunk into them and ckosed her eyes despite the boy still standing against the dor in her room. Slowly, she felt sleep begin to consume her, but Gaara spoke again, preventing it from doing so. "You shouldn't meddle in things you cannot change, you know."

Akashi's eyes snapped open and she sat up to look into his. "What are you _talking_ about?" she demanded. He only stared at her still.

"I'm telling you right now," -his gaze was cold, a change from the warmth that had been there as of late- "You are safe here."

"You told me otherwise the other night," she snapped back. The agitation and confusion began to build up more and more with each passing moment, and it showed as she went on; "Be clear- should I leave or stay? I will not listen to any more of this after this answer, Gaara, so tell me the truth."

He smiled simply. "Stay." She nodded in acceptance and was about to re-attempt dozing off when he continued, using a voice she couldn't determine was genuine or not. "You like it here, afterall."

"It's nice," she replied sleepily.

"There's plenty of reasons to stay."

"I suppose."

"For example, you have my brother."

She was taken aback by the mentioned response, keeping quiet for a moment. A frown tugged at her once-again stoic expression, and her eyes were caught paritlly-open in a state of half consciousness. Eventually the frown gave up and her lips gave a second "I suppose."

"You care for him."

At last the seemingly hopeless frown accepted victory. "You asked that already."

"I guess I did. I apologize."

"Why are you persistant in conversing about him?"

"I simply wish him the best," he answered. A small, sly smiled snuck its way onto his face; "and now I suppose I've confirmed my suspscions that you are, in fact, best for him."

Akashi now sat up, facing him with her back pressed against the wall. A flush of gentle rosy color flew across her face, a rare event that she was mainly silent during. She stared at him with doubtful eyes, then spoke with a somewhat flustered voice. "I think you're m-mistaken, I d-don't really-"

"Nonsense. I would not be surprised if a wedding were to occur soon." Ignoring the embarrased, awkward-feeling girl, he straightened up with a quick, "I should be going, goodnight." Once outside, he grinned a wide, malicious grin grin only a demon could pull off, and laughed at the helpless spirt of Gaara's true self, who was engulfed in rage at the demon's actions.

Akashi continued gazing at the still-lingering remains of the boy's presence. A soft, silent tear slid down her cheek and settled beneath her jaw only a second before dropping onto her dress. Several more followed, and soon Akashi found herself drowning in an emotion she barely recognized.


	9. Devious

nine. Devious.

Kinosa Akashi saw nothing of Gaara until much later the following day, and during the time they spent apart, Gaara pondered and attempted numerous ways to regain control of his own body. At one point, Shukaku felt ready to allow him control simply out of curiosity- he wanted to see how 'the inferior one' would handle the rising complications- but he quickly decided against the idea; he was unsure whether or not he'd be able to regain it.

Shukaku, not unlike others of his age and nature, was a very knowledgable demon. He knew things most living beings did not- Akasi included; he was more aware of her than she herself was, and two things were so important that they would change her life if she were to become aware of them. One of these things was the very reason she was even in the Sand Village in the first place; the Kazekage and the Council of Suna had suspicions of it- but as everyone knows, suspicion is not knowledge, and therefore they were currently still ranked un-knowledgable according to Shukaku.

People always felt weak around her- the amount of fatigue varied based on something he figured had relevance towards her mood- and although some people noticed this, no one knew the cause; with the exception of him. The reason?

It was called a 'chakra leech,' and, much like Gaara's sand clouds, it acted of its own accord. It slowly drains and regifts a passerby's chakra, sending it to Akashi. If she knew of it herself, she might be able to focus it and make it stronger...

Strong enough, perhaps, to even remove Shukaku completely; which he refused to let happen.

As for the other thing, the one Suna's guardians believed they knew... well, it's simple enough to only say that it's far more valuable an ability than almost any other- once activated.

Gaara growled inside himself, displeased with the currently 'awake' other spirit. "Let her be," he insisted, sending the thought-message to the demon in an envelope of hatred.

Shukaka only laughed in return, mocking the boy's sudden whirl of emotion. With many a cruel intention, he made sure to let the human know that his demand would not be followed through. "I'm doing you a favor, kid. Emotions- especially love- do nothing but hold you back." He snickered slightly as he continued. "I mean to elevate you to a higher level, make you powerful. Is this not what you want?"

"You hurt her."

Shukaku cackled more. "By acting as you? That would have to mean she actually cares for you."

"Doesn't she?"

The reply was sent out before he had the chance to think it over, and regret flowed over him in thick, merciless waves. The fury evaporated, leaving the boy's spirt quiet and unmoving.

"Likewise," the demon began again once the mood had settled. "No one could care for you, Gaara of the Desert, and I patiently await the day I finally know you've accepted this. The day your sad, sorry little hopes die out at last."

Gaara remained silent, bathing in the recognizable sense of defeat and retreating back into the depths of his body, seperating himself from Shukaku as best he could.

* * *

OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY.  
You all must hate me so badly right now, ahah. Especially since I finally update and you get like, three paragraphs. Well, not three paragraphs, but you know what I mean.  
chapter ten WILL be up today, and I'm not making promises but I will try very hard not to make you wait this long again. jesus.


	10. Changing

ten. Changing.

"Assign me a mission."

Baki looked up at the girl with a doubtful glance. She seemed unphased, and he sighed. "You truly feel you're ready?" She nodded, confident in her answer.

Despite her obvious haste, Baki accepted her request and, after flipping through a collection of papers on his desk, handed her a mini-pack of info cards. "Two," he said. "It's your choice."

She took the delicately in her hand and slowly reviewed each one. Most of the faces didn't stand out, but after a series of eliminations, she selected two ninja her age, both with abilities that she figured would work effectively with her own. Baki nodded approvingly of her choices, then beckoned Temari into the room.

"I will send for you in one hour's time. Until then, Temari will take you to the training building to equip you with what you'll need." Akashi nodded politely and followed the older kunoichi out of the room.

Temari watched her movement as carefully as she could, knowing the younger girl was far more aware of the Council's backplan than she showed. She was foolishly hesitant around her, thinking Akashi would attack her to get away, back to Konoha, but the dark haired girl simply followed obediently.

_Eh.. she HASN'T left yet... why would she now? Does she like it here in Suna? I wonder what it was like for her in Konoha..._

Akashi did nothing she wasn't meant to.

"So," Temari shrugged, desperate to ease the tension between her and the stoic girl behind her. "You and Kankurou-"

"Please." She was surprised at Akashi's sudden flush of emotion. "He is the very last thing I wish to talk of right now."

"Why's that?"

"We had a rather upsetting disagreement."

Temari raised her eyebrow. "About?"

"His values, and understanding."

Temari hummed softly, shrugging, then crossed her arms as she replied. "Well, Kankurou doesn't have much to say for either of those." Her response was as expected- a soft, 'so I noticed' and the continuation of an awkward silence.

They reached the training building with a quiet sense of relief on both sides, and much to her pleasure, Akashi was presented with her own clothes- finally repaired and cleaned. She put them on joyfully, readjusting her ribbons and ties, and handed a cleaner-girl Temari's dress.

It fascinated Temari to see Akashi so happy by simply being given her own clothes back. Of all the things they've done for her, not once had she seen the younger kunoichi smile so much. She thought only Gaara had this effect on her, but apparently she was wrong. The entire event showed another part of the girl; her love of Konoha.

Temari watched as Akashi dashed around, filling her pouches with freshly sharpened senbon and finding things to alter her hair with. She crossed her arms as the girl repeatedly pulled her hair back in different ways, appearing to be displeased with the result each time.

"I like your hair down," she offered simply after an irritated sigh from Akashi. She turned around, slightly flushed, and stared at the ground.

"It gets in my way," she stated, and turned back to face the slim piece of glass that reflected her image. "I like it too, but not for a mission. I want to pull it back but it feels like a weight no matter how I try." Temari shrugged, giving up, but the look in her eye told her she was about to say something irrational.

"Of course, I could always cut it."

The older kunoichi raised her eyebrow, drawing close to her. "You would probably regret that; hair doesn't grow back too quickly."

"Not too short, just short enough. And thinner."

She pulled out a senbon and rolled it back and forth in her hand; "Will you help me?" Her voice was hesitant; but Temari thought it sweet. Se nodded and took the needle from her, raising it to her head. "To my shoulders, please," she instructed politely, and Temari went to work.


	11. Discovery

eleven. Discovery.

Gaara at last regained control of his body.

It was an annoying process, but a quick one; he finally crawled out of the dark space he'd thrown himself in and demanded to take over. When denied, he threw a fit- starting to destroy his body from the inside out until shukaku obliged. On a single condition.

He couldn't talk to Akashi. Still regretful of the conversation he'd had with the demon, this wasn't much a problem. He'd find a way around it anyhow.

He had to get her out of Suna, he had to. If not for her own good, for his.

He sat then in his room, slumped against the side of his bed with his legs nearly touching his chest. His arms lay lifelessly beside himself until he managed to use one and push off the ground. Despite his reluctancy, he had to visit Baki-sensei. He had to get a collection of papers for his father, who, in his office safe within the Council building, couldn't find the time to retrieve them himself. Unaware of Shukaku's current reign, the Kazekage had ordered Gaara the previous night to fetch them and bring them before evening struck the next day. So while in Baki's office, he'd use his third eye power to check around for any sign of betrayal towards the girl.

For example, that brillant blue Konoha headband.

Gaara slid through the hallways and into the Council building. He headed towards Baki's office and was nearly opening the door when he stopped. Someone was already there.

"Assign me a mission." The voice was, without a doubt, Akashi's- despite the defiancy he recognised it easily.

Gaara frowned deeply, pressing close to the door to hear more.

"...feel you're ready?"

"...choice..."

...training building... with what you'll need..."

He strained to hear more, but Baki's voice was too low and such a task was impossible. Seconds away from opening the door, it opened for him, and he shot out of the way. Though he felt like he'd been seen, no one bothered him in his spot behind the thick doorway. Footsteps carried without voices farther and farther away, and when he'd caught his breath, Gaara carefully crept into the office. His third eye followed behind secretively.

"Gaara. You've come for your father's papers?"

Gaara ignored the question and walked straight up to the desk, until he could go no further. Anger fell from his lips in fiery ringlets as he spoke. "What are you assigning Kinosa?"

The man in front of him lost his surprised expression and fell into a grim one. His eyes became furious slits and the cloth hiding his face swung out quickly as he spat at the boy. "You can't stop this, Gaara, and I do suggest you cease your attempts at doing so."

"I disagree."

The tension swelled.

"Her powers are important to this village, Gaara, more important than your rather odd obsession with her."

"You will release her immediately. And cancel this mission."

"We have to possess her, and by assigning her a simple mission every now and then, she'll grow to trust us."

"She hasn't even awakened."

They both fell silent, and Baki looked around. A small puddle of sand rested upon a thin stack of paper on his desk; the remains of Gaara's third eye. He glared at the boy. "How long has that been here?"

"Every second I have."

"No more? My, Gaara, you've really gone far."

The redhead dismissed the comment and continued to stare angrily at his sensei. The papers consisted of the entire plan concerning Akashi, and he was overwhelmed with disgust at the fact that his father had sent him to retrieve such a thing. Such a plot. Against her.. his best friend.

Well, his only friend, but that wasn't the point. Not right then.

"We have our ways of awakening her, Gaara, you'll have to trust in us as far as that goes. Now, however, I'm afraid you'll have to leave."

Baki turned away. Gaara lingered for a moment, then swung around and slammed the door behind him on the way out. The pile of sand that had been left behind flew into Baki's eyes with the force of the door.

"God damn that kid," he muttered, wiping sand from his face, and then went back to work.


End file.
